Yesterday I did the unthinkable and posted a truly controversial post on my Facebook feed. I described in specific detail how I construct a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I felt compelled to discuss this because I consider myself somewhat of an expert. I’ve probably eaten close to 100,000 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And once I refined my recipe I’ve never felt any reason to vary from my process or PB&J ideology — until today.
My recipe was simple: Crunchy peanut butter and fruit jam/jelly and fresh bread. Peanut butter should go on one side of the bread and jelly on the other. And when finished, the two pieces should go right back together matching their original alignment from inside the bag. The bread has lines on the top of the crust and a distinct shape. This should not be bastardized when assembling the sandwich. I thought my idea was pretty straightforward. Apparently, even discussing the creation of a proper Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich in America is not that simple.
The first person who chimed in was Austin Stevenot. I thought my post was really going somewhere when he literally liked my post and commented that he agreed 100%. Although he brought up something that made me think. Having always made my sandwich ONE WAY, I had never considered that someone would want anything other than chunky peanut butter. It seemed Austin was challenging me to see if we shared the same beliefs.
Austin Stevenot: Would that be crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
From his question, I knew that there would be challengers to my idea of a peanut butter sandwich. My answer was simple.
Me: I think the answer to your riddle is in the name itself. “Peanut” refers to the crunchy nuts and “butter” refers to the brown cream that holds the nuts together. Crunchy was the only type of peanut butter I’d ever known.
The next person to agree was my cousin Jed. I started to see that my simple idea wasn’t so simple. There were many aspects of my proper sandwich that I’d never considered.
Jed Draper: I actually agree with you 100% on this post. Where I know we will disagree is in the type of peanut butter (maybe) and the flavor of jelly. Homemade strawberry freezer jam is the only way to go.
I felt like my post showed all the hallmarks of a good start — people were agreeing with me. But like most posts on Facebook, once the dialog began, the differences of opinion started pouring in. People commented on HOW you spread the peanut butter and jelly.
Valerie Reddemann: And the peanut butter and jelly have to go all the way to the edges.
Amanda Larson: But the peanut butter has to go on BOTH sides, for less much and leakage!
People of course hijacked the thread and turned it into something way deeper than I had intended. They distinguished and discriminated between jelly, marmalade, preserves and jam.
Luann Harris Wells: Adam’s natural creamy and preferably Concord grape jelly. Although I’m less picky about the jelly/jam as long as there aren’t tons of seeds. Lastly, I’m meticulous about spreading all the way to the edges.
Mark E. Thompson: And marmalade is not jelly. Neither are preserves. It’s not a peanut butter and preserves sandwich. Using marmalade on it is sacrilege. Jam is still debated. It would at least still fall under PB&J.
They added things to their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that destroyed the purist nature and tradition of the sandwich.
Amanda Larson: Peanut Butter, honey and apples.
Mia Draper: I put Ruffles in mine to give it a nice little crunch.
Anna Fairbanks: The bread must be toasted.
Jules Taylor: And it needs honey.
John Webster: My personal favorite, the PB&J dog! One slice of bread covered with peanut butter with a thick layer of strawberry jam (the jam dog) in the center, fold into a roll and eat like a hot dog!
Malee Raphael: Actually… the proper was is 1. Peanut Butter on one piece. 2. Jelly on the other piece. 3. Butter in a pan… fry both sides until golden brown.
Things got way more complicated and philosophical.
Mariah Cuellar: But is the peanut butter or jelly side on top when you eat it? We need a “proper way to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich post.”
Parents had different standards for their children.
Bethany Simile: UNLESS YOU HAVE A TODDLER. Every parent knows that you have to put the peanut butter and jelly on the same piece of bread and give it a good smash around. THEN attach the other piece of bread. Any guesses why? Kids usually favor one or the other. They pull the sandwich apart and lick the favorable side, leaving the other side wasted. If you mash it all together on one side of the bread they cannot favor a side.
People brought their OCD and ADHD tendencies to the table.
Cory LeeAnn: One must trim the crust… and then slice into triangles.
Meg McMahon: Jelly first on one piece, then wipe the knife on the other piece to clean it off so you don’t get jelly in the peanut butter, then peanut butter side and slap together.
Ashley Olson: Peanut butter, both sides. New spoon, jelly/jam both sides. Use spoon to evenly mix jam into peanut butter. Close sandwich (making sure bread lines up of course) Cut in half, vertically — no diagnotal shit. That’s for deli meat sandwiches.
And there were some that objected to the post by claiming it was a false dilemma. Surely there were other options besides peanut butter and jelly. They bravely challenged the status quo.
Jacob Carr: Proper? Ditch the gross jam and replace with honey. Whip butter into the peanut butter.
Eileen Meinhart Anderson: I know a family that swears by egg and peanut butter sandwiches. They swoon.
Sarah Boyle: Bout to blow your mind… take THREE pieces of bread… lightly toast two of the pieces of bread, once toasted, spread jelly on one side and PB on the other, before putting together add in the third slice of bread.
Tommy Belser Nash: I cannot stand peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! Peanut butter belongs on a spoon and jelly goes on my biscuits!
Lee Draper: The proper way – Toast bread. Butter bread. Mix equal amounts of peanut butter and honey in a bowl. Spread thickly on buttered toast and make sandwich.
The post uncovered cultural and ethnographic differences.
Hunter Hampton: In the South we used to fry our PB&J.
Maurice Ramirez: So offensive. For centuries, Filipinos have made this bread inside and peanut butter and jelly on the outside. Then eaten with giant wooden utensils.
John H. Gentleman: Cousin Pauline sent me to watch TV until she fixed something. What she up with sounds crazy, but she sliced a Beefsteak tomato about 1/2 inch thick, layered it on top of the Peanut-buttered bread slice, put Mayonnaise on the other slice of bread and mushed it together. A single diagonal and she served it to me. It was delicious!
Then there was someone who felt we weren’t being as inclusive as we should be.
Homer Silva: This thread could be extremely insensitive to someone with a peanut allergy.
And of course what’s a Facebook post if someone doesn’t use stats and numbers to prove their point.
Jodie Beck: More importantly is the proper ratio of peanut butter to jelly. I prefer 60:40 – peanut butter to jelly. Almond butter actually and boysenberry jam. Perfection!
Kristi Ah You: No, no, no! It’s spread a ton of peanut butter on each slice and then real, actual jam in the middle and then 16 seconds in the microwave (and that’s the only thing that goes in the microwave other than popcorn.)
Unlike the citizenry of most other countries, Americans are incredibly diverse. We are often called a melting pot because we represent so many countries, religions, cultures, languages, upbringings and because of that —ideas. Leave it to us to have differences on even the simplest thing like how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There were a hundred different variations of a recipe (or an idea) that I initially thought was pretty straightforward. If Americans are so opinionated that we can’t even come to a consensus on a sandwich, how will we ever agree on policy? But what some might think of as an obstacle, I’d like to consider a strength.
In the above responses, my mind was opened to all sorts of unique ideas that I had never considered on my own. I had the benefit of receiving ideas that were influenced by experiences I’ve never had. In a policy sense, look at all the creative solutions to a problem that people shared. Had they been just like me, we would have all agreed but that would have resulted in one solution. It would have also denied me the opportunity to try all these different recipes. Diverse solutions are a product of diverse ideas and backgrounds.
But our diversity is only a benefit if we can have a spirited and respectful exchange of ideas.
The Peanut Butter Policy is an example of how intelligent, respectful dialog should work. We are all from different upbringings, education and backgrounds yet still managed to all share our thoughts despite our differences. Nobody insulted anyone else’s ideas and some people were introduced to ideas we’d never considered before. The conversation gained a depth that would have been impossible without everyone’s contributions. Nobody simply posted an article or meme and performed a social media mic drop. Everyone had an opinion and they supported their opinion with reasons for why they personally had this opinion. And we all respected everyone’s opinions whether we agreed with them or not.
So the next time someone does not share your opinion, think about all the ways you can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and allow them to make theirs as they wish. You will probably discover that it tastes just the same no matter how the peanut butter is applied. And you might also be introduced to a delicious new sandwich that you would have never considered before.